mirror of the mind

i sometimes get the feeling that i am a despicable person...its like standing in front of a mirror and wondering who the ugly person is,staring back at you...only to find out,that it is you whose reflection you are hating.the only problem is that,since the mirror is inside you,inside your mind,you cannot deny what you feel.
sometimes,the things that you today find apalling are all the same things that you indulged in,a few years ago.its great when you're by yourself,but what happens when someone points that out?
for a few days now,i was in deep disgust of people who hanker for marks;who do anything to garner a few pointers from the teachers.i had put myself on the noble moral pedestal thinking i am above them and their petty actions.i actually thought that they were pitiable,since they were so worked up over a couple of marks.
but then i discovered i was not so mcuh better after all!i was chatting with an old friend from school who is now in the US and at 1 in the night...i got shocked,at me!i wasn't any better after all!i ws just the same.i too used to run around for marks..half a mark even!no wonder then,that my friends thought me to be hopeless...i myself find it ridiculous now.
but is that an excuse???can it be an excuse that,since i have changed...or i think i have,i can now go on judging people who are the same as i was...or perhaps,am?maybe the monster lies dormant.but that is beside the point.when did my priorities change?am i glad that they did??maybe.but what i've learnt is that i have got no right to judge people...or to be over the moon about this confession!