I finally realized why Tom never wins.

A friend who was crashing with me over the past week has just left. Missing him.

Stressed to the T. Watching a lot of TV.

Am feeling very very insecure about my relationships now. Maybe I need to rethink stuff over. Still officially single though.

On this day.

Its strange how you can misjudge people. And circumstances.

I have not had time to post anything last week because of that. The fact that people kept changing in my eye. The fact that though the world didn't go Topsy-turvy, it did change in little subtle yet discernible ways. In ways it will never be the same.

I just came across an old orkut profile of an old friend. I never knew him in person. I never managed to know him. And though I know Face book is more fashionable now, he is lost and I miss him.

As I type this out, an old friend who I thought had grown distant I.M.-ed me . She asked me if I wanted anything from Bombay where she is now for an internship. I feel warm.

Discussed terrorism with 4 unknown people in an auto. An old lady smiled at me. We agreed that though India had its share of problems, we indeed are glad to be alive. As she put it, "Beche toh achchi."

A person who everybody told me and still tells me is bad, is not so bad. It is like the culmination of a great film where you don't know what to think cuz what just has happened is much too grey. I remembered all the reasons I liked her. Though she was a bad teacher, probably, she isn't that bad a person. Stayed up with us unfed, had her lunch with us at the end of the massive event we were organizing, smiled, didn't let us go hungry, didn't force us to hurry off without finishing, thanked us after it was all over and waved goodbye cuz she had to go to a wedding; with a twinkle in her eye.

Someone else isn't so nice after all. I apologize for being cryptic but I think if I go into greater detail, I shall remain bitter for the rest of the day tomorrow. And I have to spend three more semesters with this person. Its not just that my opinion of him has altered, it is that the person has fallen. In my eyes. In others eyes. In ways I think irredeemable.
I am not merely hurt. I am probably not that hurt at all. I feel vengeful. More than ever. I am forcing myself to be vengeful. I know his interests will not be harmed as a result of this and so he won't bother. I know he won't care. He is much too cold. Someone had warned me before. How I wish I had heeded to that word.