The 11th commandment

A few weeks back,me and my friends were travelling by the Delhi Metro...we were 3 guys and fortunately all of us had managed to get seats;the train was getting very crowded and I was smug in my seat.Hardcore Kolkatans that we are,it was quite a change,and a refreshing one for me, to see that there were no seats reserved for women.In kolkata,seats are reserved for "ladies" everywhere!!On the bus,on the metro,on trains.............
However,one of my friends took great offence at the fact that "a lady" was standing in front of us while we all sat.He got up to offer his seat...A man rushed over and sat down in a flash.He then forced our other friend to do the same.The same outcome,again!
Now the only seat left for the "lady" to take was mine...there was only a slight hitch-I refused to get up.My pal tried to convince me on grounds of morality and "the right thing to do" with insightful arguments like "Dhrubo,a lady is standing..how can you sit?"...He tried every trick in the book to compel me to get up,but me,prude that I am,never did...the lady got off the train at the next station.

I had almost forgotten about the incident till "Quaint Murmur" aroused my memory...and I must say that though I love my city,I despise situations where people get advantage because of the way they are born.It was about 7 years ago that I realized that chauvinism works both ways and while my psycho-therapist(yes,I am a nut-case!)doesn't think so,the "chauvinist pigs" come in both genders!
All my life I have been puzzled by the visible lack of uniforming in matters of public sphere when it comes to men and women.Men are always expected to give up stuff so that the women can get an easy ride.And what surprises me is the fact that so many women take the advantage,nay,grab it with both hands and behave as if it was their god gifted right.No one ever questions why,on a bus,men have a greater duty to remain standing while women are predisposed to relax.
Maybe I am exuding the perception of being a misogynist and some sort of an "anti-feminist" but that is not the case...I stand up for issues where I think people are getting discriminated against but what about situations where people talk about discrimination to actually discriminate against others?
I am not a feminist.I don't think men should take over the world either.I just am of the opinion that this social compulsion of men having to be "chivalrous" towards women is redundant.Let the era of men offering small bits of favour to women be banished now.Let the world where a condescending attitude of "they need it,helpless souls" ,hid under a garb of nobility,is not tolerated any longer.
I do not dream of a perfect world...I just wish that we live in a world where there was a little less dichotomy...where people are allowed opportunities when they deserve it.

The day I love to hate

I am supposed to study now...but it is very evident that I am not!I am much too euphoric and not because of the reasons an adoloscent guy is usually happy on the night of Valentine.I am happy cuz I have survived another year without falling into the dating quagmire...Does it seem cynical?Well,it is!!

I don't know from where I picked up this unrelenting cynicism about the present concept of dating but then as far and as long as I can remember,it has been this way.I havealways hated books which talk about the next step after people become friends...books which place flings at an emotional scale higher than friendship and bonding.For that simple reason,I find myself at odds with celebrated pieces of literature like "Five Point Someone".But it is not as if I am against love.I am not a misogynist.I am a sucker for "Romance "movies.I even like films like "Shakespeare in love" or saccharine sweet "Notting Hill"....

Contradiction?I used to think so too....

Not anymore though.Its the society which is hypocritical,not me...atleast I think so.Yes,I have got a problem with people hooking up just because its the "in" thing.But I have a greater problem with the society which accepts and actively promotes such kind of behaviour under the garb of tomfoolery like "guys will be guys" and "there is no place for love".

I have a problem with people who rave and rant about the piety of love and the divinity of the affair and then go buy Archies cards to profess their "divine" life.Who are so enamoured with the notion of "Hindi film romance" that they talk of lynching their lives just because someone has decided to move on with their life.I have a problem with a society which behaves with sickening morality when it comes to accepting homosexuality but bends over backwards in order to accomodate Greeting Card Day!A society which bars two men from looking at each other but has no problem with lewdness as long as it is perpetrated by a guy and a girl.

I might not fall in love.Not today.Not tomorrow.Maybe never.But if love exists in the form that I see it all around me...I am glad to be alone.It isn't love that I have a problem with,its what we have made out of it!!

Round the bend

Walking down the road with a friend,
I suddenly come across a bend...
I turn and don't find him there-
Searched for him everywhere,nowhere could I find;
Was he true,did he pretend...
Leaving me stranded on that bend?

We were so happy chatting.
Walking among the leaves cheerfully-
Perhaps life's like this,
The person you want the most
is the one you miss!

Maybe its a big journey,
You walk over and over again...
Be it shine or rain,
smiles or pain-

Every morning a new destiny,
YOU walk the stretch alone,
Yes you'll find friends...
Who'll disappear round the bend!

Smiles and memories,
The good time and the tears,
Yes,you'll share...
But you will leave it with the dust and walk ahead!

Tomorrow is a new day-
A different way!
A new pal to take you away...
To soar,to fly.....to spread yuour wings in the bright blue sky!!

And that is all I learnt,
while I stood stranded on bend...
Waiting for my new best friend!

I should have written long ago...indeed I have been planning to write for the past one month.But there was one thing which always stood in the way.The fact that I am terribly lazy.But not today!The giant has woken from his slumber to bore you people again.
I wanted to respond to Sinjini's tag long long ago but couldn't....
I am not much of a bibliophile but here goes...

Total number of books I own:

I am not really sure since they lie all around me and I never tidy them up but there must be more than twenty of them,I think.

Last book I bought:
Collected Short Stories of Chekhov

I am currently reading:
The Picture Of Dorian Gray(It was a Titash inspiration and I want to read it forever)
Note To Self:Should really get started on some of those course books.

3 books I started reading but never completed:
I am really ashamed for this...
Dostoevsky's Crime And Punishment
Virginia Woolf's To the Lighthouse
And lastly,a huge chemistry book that my mum had bought for me with the misplaced hope that I would be interested.


One book which I gave to somebody else, but never got back:
I don't generally give away books to such hopeless people so that has never happened.Or maybe it has and I have forgotten everything about it.

Total number of E-books I own:
I am afraid,none.I do read on the net occasionally but I do not like the experience.My eyes water and my neck hurts.Moral:Reading on the net isn't good for elephants.


My most treasured books:

Mrs. Dalloway...Virginia Woolf
The Harry Potter collection(They cost a fortune!)
Pride and Prejudice....Jane Austen
and every book in my home that I haven't read.


Who am I going to tag?
Quaint Murmur...I just hope she doesn't take as much time as me to respond!

PS-Titash...was that interesting?

The signal

stopping by a red signal,
i rolled down the windows of my mind,
and was startled to find,


a girl, on the threshold of adulthood,
on the pavement, by the road where my car stood-
all her clothes had gone astray,
and her hair was tinted with premature grey...
she stumbled on step by step,knocking over people in tow...
didn't look behind at the mess she had left-

her eyes were hollowand kind of mad....
meeting my eyes,she gave a short little bow-
stopped for a second,over a coin she did bend,
tossed it and as it came down,
encased it in her gown....

she leaned by a lamp-post,
seemed to steady her resolve,
took out a phone and perhaps called here mum...
the sun shone overheadbut clouds gathered over her....

and as the signal turned green,
and the cars revved up to add to the din-
she resolutely stepped onto the roadway,
before a speeding truck heading for the bay.

it seemed the day ended that moment,
and as over the dead girl they bent-
i couldn't but remember,

the last glimpse of a face sad,
with tears streaming but with a smile....
maybe all those grieved ,grieved in vain,
maybe the truck ended all her pain....

and i couldn't but wish,
that she might have a better day,
that she is set free-
as i started my car and drove away...

The Trip Back Home

As I sat on the speeding train,
I couldn't wait to reach home,
After 12 years I had finally realized,
I'd rather be here than Paris or Rome...

The photos lay in front of me,
As we raced through the lush green countryside,
The memories caught in those snaps seemed a touch away....
And I couldn't help breaking into smiles wide!

I had broken away from my nest to fly,
To take my place amidst the clouds in the bright blue sky,
Though success lay in my palm,inside I had died,
Missed those streets and those days gone by.

I craned my neck and caught the faint outline of the station,
I just couldn't wait,cuz my best friend is coming too...
Its been 4 years since we've even talked on the phone,
Life made us go separate ways,both me and you!

As I stepped onto the familiar ground and breathed in,
the air still seemed to smell of times gone by...
I spent all my mornings wandering in the bylanes again,
exploring the place where you could get the best apple pie!

It was at a cafe that I saw him.
Suited,smart,suave...shook hands with me,
We sat down and started talking about the wather,
Both a little awkward as we pretended to chat over tea.

Went down to the old school after a mighty long time,
Played in the sands,climbed the old hill overlooking the town...
But somewhere inside the man beside me,my pal was lost,
And I couldn't find him even as the sun went down.

Time it was for us then to part ways once again,
Awkward goodbyes and mute heartburn,
But as we looked into the other's eyes as the trains steamed away,
Spoke more than any words could have done.

And as I raced back to the bleak canvas of my life,
I realized I missed my pal now that he was gone,
He had changed a lot,but so had I,
That was why,the homecoming had felt so wrong...

The town hadn't changed,the change was in me,
In my haste to grow up,I didn't realize this happened when,
And now,so old and different..I didn't miss him,I missed those happy days,
I missed the wonderful people we were back then.

We the people.

There seems to be a small step between the realm of the civilized and the uncivilized.Between the educated and the uneducated.The restrained and the savage.
It takes a moment of inflationary politics to tear off the mask of civility off our society.Perhaps a word,a poem or a speech...dug out from the graves of time for the express purpose of bringing the "CRUSADER" all the limelight..his/her 7 days of fame.

And it just takes one contentious issue for the "enlightened" society to remain mum while civil liberties are violated rampantly.It takes just the mention of one of the religious minorities to bestow justification to any act,howsoever unconstitutional or illogical.

After all,it is "wrong" of us to question anything that is perpetrated in the name of a certain "minority" even when the people of that community are too busy to care.

After all,"HURTING" the sentiments of people who have none is a greater crime in this land than murder;even when the people aren't hurt and the ones clamouring don't know what they're raging about!

And,contrary to what people say,this isn't limited to a certain community.This malice extends to all communities.Every one of us is supremely intolerant ofany criticism.AND terrorising the dissent into submission seems such a better option compared to rational discussions!As they say "It is all in god's name"

And that seems to be the problem.The fact that "bhagwaan" orders a bunch of saffron clad goons to murder missionaries.And tells them to ban any book that speaks ill,not of god,but of our own ways of exploiting god!The fact that "allah " orders hoodlums to drive an eminent author out of her sanctuary.Orders them to harrass her for her life.Terrorise her.The fact that the conscience of the government compels it to drive the author to the verge of tears as she struggles to save her life.To toss her like a shuttlecock in the pious winds of polity.

And the worse part?The fact that we,the people at large,the educated,the vanguard of the future,the "Rang De Basanti charged idealists keep mum,even though we know that we don't care what the author had written;even though both hindus and muslims condemn the action in their drawing rooms.
All this in the land of Buddha!In the name of The Mahatma's secularism.

When we lost.

its strange how little it takes for us to degenerate from human beings,rational and humane,into complete beasts.No,I am wrong.It is a blatant insult to animals.They don't go about killing others of their species when left perfectly at peace.They don't indulge in murders.

They are much,much better.

However,we never seem to learn our lesson.Earlier today,calcutta was thrown into complete chaos and disarray when a bunch of hooligans,belonging to a minority community,sought to make their voice heard over a myriad range of issues,including the atrocities in Nondigram and the expulsion of Tasleema Nasreen.The protests started off with a irksome yet essentially peaceful road blockade.However,the protesters soon decided that peace doesn't encourage either theatrics or TV coverage.
In the space of a half-hour,the thing had escalated into a full-scale mob unrest.Cars and buses were burnt,so were police vans and taxis.The agitators(read goons)cordoned off several tarffic arteries,thus ensuring themselves of a plentiful supply of vehicles to burn and destroy and enough people(innocent commuters,of course) to spread the panic.
The heart of Calcutta was turned into a warzone with terrified people running for their lives;while the agitators(not goons anymore,now hardened criminals)splashed the streets with blood and glass and burnt tyres.Entire sections of the city were cordoned off by the police,which,of course,ws the only way to handle these people(minority,of course)
For the first time in 15 years,army had to be deployed in Calcutta and a curfew was declared for the night.Gunfire and street fighting continued way into the evening.
As I walked back from college this afternoon,goaded by a friend,I was startled to see how a city can change in a matter of a few hours.The college had been sealed and the principal had issued warnings advising us not to venture out.school students stood stuck in their schools way into the night.Greatest democracy in the world,huh?
The formal leader of the protestors promptly washed hands off the affair and said that his men were peaceful and it was a conspiracy to deface his party.The state leaders asked Tasleema Nasreen to leave.And as I type this out,army is patrolling parts of the city.We aren't capable of controlling ourselves any more.We need the army.Better than animals?
But maybe this too shall fade from the public memory until the next tragedy happens.But this afternoon,As I walked on those mob-ravaged streets,it seemed different.I wasn't in the same genteel sity anymore.Everything had changed,everything had become more violent and less tolerant.The streets wore a deserted,destroyed look,as if incredulous at the antics of man!Ambulances were attacked and so were school buses.This didn't seem India.For a moment there,it felt like somalia or sudan.Yes,there wasn't an official war.But there was a war all the same....and Humanity lost.

My brother

i was walking back from work late in the evening,
and i was reading a book on family that day,
as i sat down on a park bench,
i was enjoying the book in my own way...

i read how important family was,
and how a trip back home at the end of the day,
could set your whole life right,
even if you had lost your way...

it said they are the people who love you your entire life,
be it happiness,sorrow or strife,
and their memories were enough to lighten up a dreary day,
and their smiles enough to usher joy onto a lonely way.

and i started believing that family is a rock,
that would protect me against any storm...
and i had almost decided to love them more,
even if it was quite different from my norm.

and as i finished my book,
i wanted to go back to my family with me around,
but as i rose to go,
i found my feet cemented to the ground.

for there stood my brother,right in front.
and i hesitated to go upto him and talk,
so many years apart now,it seems strangely awkward,
i can't believe he once used to be my rock.

i uneasily hold out my hand for a shake,
quite the modern man,am i really awake?
vague memories of playing together on the rug,
makes we wanna give him a warm hug.

after school,we had drifted apart...
i had new friends,about him i didn't care,
a big success now,i didn't want him anymore,
knowing such an embarrasment was a risk i couldn't dare.

he tried to smile,to hide the pain,
reminded me of the days we played in the pouring rain,
he said hello,i did too,
life hath made strangers out of me and you!!

families are supposed to look after each-other,
but as i stood on the soggy ground facing my brother,
the boss's call on my phone, all those memories faded
i wished we had never met,both a little jaded.

he just didn't fit into my life,career anymore,
i had a new family,money now..to be fair!
i gave him a quick nod and walked quickly away
while my own brother still stood numb there.

family affairs

its strange how people can change sometimes.i was sifting through all my old magazines today and as usual,instead of throwing them away,i started reading them all over again.
there was a debate raging for quite some time then over whether the RD should indianize itself more or should remain a predominantly foreign magazine.the editors had made it pretty clear that though RD India would rely heavily on foreign materials,the context and the choice of articles published would be done,keeping in mind the indian diaspora...
And it was becuase of this that the article which was on the adjoining page startled me more...
an article about "how to handle your family and your relatives when you spend a holiday together as a family."
it was not so much the article,but the suggestions encorporated within it,that made me squirm...the author spoke about embarrasing times in front of the whole family,about green eyed monsters who always tried to put you down and your own mum,when she became too judgemental or emotional.the author put each sitaution down as a potential disaster and provided remedies or plausible solutions for each of them.

And i marvelled.i marvelled because we have grown so modern and "shining" that we now require magazine articles to deal with family.we now require a specialist to tell us not to get disheartened with our mothers or not to give up on our fathers.we now have therapists to tell that our family loves us at the end of the day and that it will always be our pillar of support....we just don't know that anymore!!

the article started with the question-"do you ever dread your family holidays because of that embarrasing uncle sam or that spiteful aunt mabel.......?"
the honest answer,sans the indian culture nonsense,would be yes...
but does that mean we now require magazine articles to decipher that our mothers love us no matter what..or that we can always turn to our family for support...?

the article was engrossing and very well written...i guess that was part of its charm.however,the final solution proposed by the author to all the realtionship blues was a striking one....
"remember that this holiday is only for a few days and you are going to return to your own normal life soon...."
that made family outings sound like common cold...didn't it?i mean,you can't get rid of it and its going to go away in a few days!!

maybe that is what families have become to us...detached old appendages.things that we wish to shed in our conquest of modernity.and what was great(!) was the fact that apparantly,the editors had thought the article suited indian contexts.maybe indians do need to start behaving with their families.maybe they need family therapy to teach them how to spend a holiday!
and all this in a country where we cry ourselves hoarse over traditional indian family values!

maybe i fight a lot with my mum...and i hate some of my relatives...but you know what?i would rather choose a messy but genuinely warm holiday with my family instead of a superby performed stage show!