Give love a chance.

On Progressiveness

I get a little confused nowadays. Especially when people talk about progressive societies and progressive outlook. The fact that men now are forced to commodify themselves akin to women is a progressive thing. The existence of an all-women radio channel heralds a new era. India is reborn.

Friends of mine are torn between enjoying the twisted humour of Dostana and admonishing it for "lack of sensitivity" towards the "gay community". I haven't watched the film but I hope to enjoy it when I do. Its not just because of the gay angle. I like the fact that homosexuality is treated as just another story angle and dealt with as such; the out and out overtly melodramatic hue that tints everything in Hindi films. I am glad that the film has an "airy", non-sensible tone. We need that. We need to understand that there is no "gay community" and the creation of one would mean the death of the civil society. We need to stop talking of homosexuality as we speak of women's issues, with unease and a lingering desire not to offend anyone and try to be "sensitive" to "their" cause. Well, guess what? There is no "cause" and there is certainly no "their". If I think of homosexuality as just another constituent of my social life, so obvious that it needs no mention, then I need to make fun of it, I need to laugh at it, just as I laugh at other things in the world that are so intrinsic to our society that we never question their place even when we dramatize them for our daily soaps.

A women in the bus forced me to shift today because she couldn't sit between two men. Feminists say that is justified because men are uncivilized neanderthals who grope women. So we accept men groping and then take action instead of addressing the groping. Progressive?

The society is showcasing gender equality by forcing men to use beauty products and dress up to please women. Try to be what they are not. Men do it, women do it. Hence equality. How would it be if neither did it?

I am getting lost in a progressive society.

One week ago

Its strange what a week can do. I was erasing messages from my phone today and stumbled upon a couple I had sent to somebody. A week ago. We weren't the best of friends. We had just begun to know each other. I liked him. We practised for tournaments together. I supported him. I felt bad for him. I tried to console him. He seemed nice. Good. We were friends. Were.

A week in Bangalore changed all that. In close proximity, we drifted apart. He seemed suddenly brash, insecure, defensive, irrational. Everyone thought so. Tried to see his side. Couldn't. Tried to fell sorry for him. Couldn't. He blamed me. He blamed everybody. He was upset. He lost friends. I lost him.

Just for a minute today, I remembered how things could have been. Its not a big loss. I am not sad. Just pensive. I now feel uncomfortable talking to him. I put up a facade. I laugh with my teeth. I speak ill of him now. Behind his back. He probably does that too. We still greet each other.

Just for a minute, I wished nothing had happened. Then I deleted his messages.